Apprentice week 1: Bangers

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Well, what a bunch of tw*ts we have to rail against for the next 12 weeks! – You’ve got to admire the wannabe apprentices – it take some balls to stick such obvious character flaws out there for the world to mock.

Top tw*t this week was the deservedly fired Dan – a shouty, sweaty, salesy cock of the first order. You knew as soon as he declared, slamming his fist on the table “I’ll do it!” [be PM] that you were in for a treat and that he’d be packing his bag by the end of the show. Unlike big, stupid, stroppy baby Stuart “The Brand” Baggs – I reckon I’ve got him pegged. Unlike my token northerner Jamie Lester who turned out to be just another shouty southern sh*te.

Another failure from my first impressions was Apollo (please! Apollo? – “it was the first mission to get to the moon”) team leader Joanna Riley who seemed warm, inclusive and a pretty damned impressive manager – (although that may just have been because she was sober)

Bang on the money though is Christopher Farrell – who, it turns out IS ex military (I can always spot a squaddie – it’s the blank staring eyes) – Royal Marines no less (gotta love that) he’s also a scouser, but lets himself down by listing his home town as “Cheshire”… hmmm: isn’t map reading a requirement in the Marines Chris?

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